Praying for Wisdom

I'm finished. It's done! The semester is complete. Well actually I have to attend class tomorrow but I have nothing to do in that class except listen to the presenters. I'm so excited!!! Christmas Play is coming up soon! I might be sewing costumes until my ears fall off--that was really random it may have made more sense to say until my eyes pop out. Anyway. I will probably get out the sewing machine and go to town!! Christmas gifts are almost complete! Okay that's a lie--I have a few more things to get. I still don't know what to get my dad--he has everything! ttyl

i'm still in the coffeeshop and now I have just heard possibly the worst conversation ever. I just heard a guy telling a girl, "no guy ever wants sloppy seconds". Newsflash---No guy under any circumstances should ever speak to a woman in this manner. And now he is talking about a girl who flirted with a guy and got a $5 tip--whoopy--please lets tell the entire world. But back to my soap box. Never should someone of the male persuasion talk to someone of the female persuasion in this manner. It just is not right. I'm not a delicate flower but I still need to be talk to gently. It is the man's job to have male friends that he can say certain things to and he needs to keep his language around a woman clean or at least keep the vulgarity to a minimum. The next point is that women need to go back to being feminine. Dress up once in a while, try to look good when you are going to see the man of your life. Shower if you have one available right before you will s...

Spending time with the love of my life... we're only at a coffee shop and we are on separate computers. We have high schoolers surrounding us. Oddly, I feel on odd sense of being at home among them. They are acting stupid. I feel like I could too if I really wanted to. I love Justin Robert Clarkson. He is the most amazing man that I have ever met. He spends time with me, not always doing something with just me and I feel loved, protected and safe. he is everything to me. Sometimes I just don't understand the silence and then it isn't even quiet anymore and that reminds me that I am supposed to cherish every moment not because of all the other moments but simply because every moment is different.

i was reading through some of my old writings that I just left on my computer. There is a lot of randomness in there but this one i still feel is worthwhile To a sister; who is willing to share in my secrets.A sister who; shows me so much love that I don’t know what I would ever do without her.A sister who; shares my tears and my fears. A sister who; tells me that my fears are totally irrelevant and don’t matter in the real world. Guess what, I think I finally get what you’ve been telling me all these years, some stuff just doesn’t matter. I have the “turn around” song on my computer and I can see what it’s talking about, it always reminds me of the skit that you did with Katery and the rest of the counselors, I can hardly stand to listen to this song—I cry almost every time. You tell me how it is and you are perfectly okay in your own skin. You know who you are and I look up to you so much for that because at this point it seems like I will never be able to figure out ...

Okay so I really just read that on cakewrecks and the word always makes me laugh. At this point, I am still just avoiding working on my homework. I need to get some of it done so that I can feel like I accomplished something today and well I have things due tomorrow. And things due Wednesday. I also have 2 exams to study for on Monday morning and stuff to do all weekend. Wow I need to get cracking. I have several, like 9, essays that are due Wednesday morning that I have not even started yet. And I have a presentation due tomorrow that I do not have done. BLAH---so glad that classes will be completely over next Thursday--until next semester. I already have stuff started for the beginning of next semester. Not like assignments or anything but I have all my books and have things color coded and such. Wow that makes me sound like a complete nerd..... Yes there's no other way to look at that.

Thanksgiving went well. I have so many wonderful things to be thankful for, I need to remember that more often. I think I am going to try to make it a point to consider the things that I am thankful for more often. I don't think that I would be in such a bad mood all the time if that were the case. I'm mostly thankful for that guy! So i really don't know what happened with the font and such there--so I'm just going to leave it as is. i love my family--no matter how nuts they make me!

I have finished my interview and site visit for my final project in my community rec class. I absolutely fell in love with this place. I want to start volunteering there as soon as possible. i think that the people are amazing. I felt so welcome after 5 seconds. Bev, the executive director, and the person that I interviewed was so nice about everything. It was an amazing experience and I now wonder why I put it off for so long. God was telling me to stop being a sissy and just do it. I found out once again that God knows what is best for me far more than I do. Oh I love when I remember that God has control of my life and I really won't go spinning out of control unless there is a darn good lesson involved--like slow the heck down on slippery roads--just for an example. I am finally starting to fall into where I am supposed to be. My boyfriend is the most amazing man that I have ever met. He goes to bed way too early because then I can't call him in the middle of the ni...

I have been not doing my homework all day---why is it that I cannot seem to get things done before they actually have to be completed. This means that i will have to take my homework with me to the youth group event. Blah... but it is no one's fault but my own. Maybe i'll be able to finish it tomorrow between classes at Central, cooking class, and spending time with Justin (who will probably go to bed early). Hopefully I can get it done. I am at the coffee shop and I keep getting funny looks from people. Ahhhh I can see the end though. I am doing the interview for my Recreation class this afternoon and so my final project for that class will be almost complete. i have an exam 25th. Oh all the stuff that I need to get done in the next two-three weeks---coffee will be my best friend. I need to be able to spend some time with Justin--we need to find a better way of communicating. He's most likely a lion and i'm an "everything but Lion" and this puts us a...

I was pondering a moment ago... i had a question. Why would a person keep more than one blog? What would be the point? Just wondering

Yesterday was awesome while I was at church. I prayed for wisdom in order to keep my mouth shut when needed. It worked. Things are going well. I will hopefully receive the emailed list from Kathleen later this afternoon. I have an exam in an hour that I have not even considered studying for. I had stuff due at 8 am and I will have to turn it in later. I have not done the reading for any of my classes. I am super tired because I stayed up until all hours of the night playing Apples to Apples with Sam and Sherri. Lock in stuff seems to be going well and so does the Christmas play. AHHHH --School is trying to kill me. I'll probably have a quiz in Religion but i have other things to do so I cannot read my reading for class today.

This is the theme for my life.... I always decide that I am not going to be the one to decide. But in all honesty... I'm usually the one to give in to everyone else and decide anyway. I feel like life is going well but I'm just mildly depressed. I'm taking things WAY out of context and I'm just not feeling like I should. Sometimes I'm just so happy that I could not stand to be in the presence of someone who is not happy but that is usually before I head into class and guess what......everyone in my classes seem to be in the worst of moods when I'm feeling great. Oh I got a D+ on my Religion exam....so I didn't exactly fail it but I might as well have. Oh man am I hoping I am able to do better on the next one. I hope that won't make me fail the class.... I do not want to have to retake it so that it doesn't show up on my transcript. I wrote so much last night about feelings and such that I just don't know what to write on here. I felt like...

Maybe that should say the big bad world. I have found recently that things do not always work out the way that you expect. I was not aware of a few complications with the youth group event that I'm heading up. Things have become more and more difficult but I just sent out the fliers, so there's no turning back now. I'm helping with the christmas play....I should help a little more with that. I've given all of the food for the youth group lock in to Stefani--she is in charge of all of it. I'm feeling like I'm doing it still but I think once we get through this one I won't have to hold her hand and she will know what is expected of her. i love her and I feel like she will do very well. I need to do two interviews within the next couple weeks.......AHHHHH! Not like job interviews but interviews for college. Thins that I need to get done. I signed up for my spring semester. I still need to get things done and live the rest of my life. I will be so happy ...

I have a sickness, I just skipped class to play on freerice.com and look at different blogs that have pictures on them. I'm lame! I like it that way though

I hate facebook at the moment. I had a big long email typed and when I hit send there was an error so it erased the whole thing. I'm super busy, I have an exam friday. I'm planning an overnight at the church on Nov 22nd. i have stuff due all week. I have to vote tomorrow. I'm a little nervous. I have to find my voter's registration card. I'm going to help put on the Christmas play and I have finals coming up soon. Plus I have to sign up for spring semester classes which means that i need to meet with an academic adviser pretty soon. Well I'm actually excited about most of this and not stressed--so I think this is a good thing--or maybe my peace with all of this is actually a God thing...we'll have to wait and see.

I am no longer irritated with that company because I think I will finally be able to download my decoder today. I have the email that says I can--all things point in a good direction. Basically I was facebook stalking today and realized that I need to start keeping up with people, I don't even know what half of the people from high school are up to these days. Oh for the reunions that will have to be my best friend in order to figure out what is going on in the lives of these people. Well anyway--that was random. I have class in 45 minutes and I should probably read what the assignment was but I'm not going to.

I'm so irritated. i hate spending money and not being able to instantly remedy the situation in which I find myself. So i found out that my laptop won't play DVD's who knew--I thought it would but apparently since I updated windows media player--it will no longer play DVD's--ef. Anyway, this leads to me saying that I just bought a DVD Decoder so that I could install it and play the DVD before 11pm so that I can watch it. Well I can't download it until they send me the stupid email and that is not happening. I am so angry because this is not happing in the sequence that I want. Oh how I wish I was not from a society of instant everything because then i wouldn't feel like I am being jipped when stuff takes longer. oh and I absolutely hate paying for internet--but I just paid 4 dollars for 2 hours of internet--which doesn't seem like a lot but a few blocks away there is free internet and if I looked hard enough, there is probably free internet closer than...

oh being hyper yet being by yourself. I am in a room, a classroom to be exact, in which I know no one by name--i recognize a few faces but that is all. I want to be hyper, I feel hyper but I have to keep it all inside because all of these people will think I'm a loon. I honestly don't really care what they think but if I'm hyper I will also be unable to sit through this class and listen to this professor. Wow this is honestly the worst class I think I have ever had...not because it is difficult--no no--just because the lecture and movies are that boring. Anthropology--didn't realize that it was this not interesting--okay that is even a lie. I don't find the study of anthropology to be that boring but I do find the lectures about anthropology from this professor to be very difficult to pay attention through. Well I have 10 minutes left before class--so I guess I will end on that note!

Okay I'm still sick and this is not cool. I'm skipping class this afternoon and Sam is coming to get me. Then I have to remember to go to Walmart and get some medication. Oh the joys of being sick. i need to get better. Well going to the Western game probably didn't help, or the making deliveries in the 20 below weather of this morning--okay clearly it was not 20 below--it was closer to like 40ish. Still feels cold after the 80 degree days of less than two weeks ago.

So I've been battling a cold for about two weeks now. It decided last night to settle in my ears which for me always means bad news bears. So my guidelines for becoming healthy include: 1. Deciding I'm finally sick enough to go to the doctor 2. Taking time off class and work and going to the doctor 3. Fill prescription 4. Buy lots of other stuff while I wait for free prescription at Meijer. (GO MEIJER!!) 5. Come home and watch movies 6. Veg while Sam cooks lunch Sounds pretty good so far huh. 7. Check in with professors via email about missing class today (I missed an exam, making it up Monday morning) 8. Updating things online and looking stuff up for Justin 9. Taking a nap (which is what I said I was doing right now) 10. Wake up feeling better 11. Go to the football game and support Central Michigan University ( GO CHIPS!) {Okay so in my alter reality this will actually help me get better because I will be out doing something but in this reality it's going to be cold...

Well I was looking through profiles on Myspace --the people I already know of course-- and I found some pretty interesting information. That information however is for me to know and anyone else to do their own myspace stalking to find out. Well Justin's mom had a talk with him the other day and I thought he was going to tell me something like, she isn't ready for him to be serious with anyone and she doesn't think it will last. However the real thing that she told him was that she thinks he should marry me quick fast and in a hurry. She thinks that this is the happiest he has ever been. The other factor is she knows that he would like to be married by our pastor, Jim. Jim was just diagnosed with a serious case of esophageal cancer, it's in the later stages. He is undergoing chemo therapy right now and we will see what is to come. Our church is praying for a miracle, I can't imagine our church and my life without Pastor Jim. Well there it is, I finally am co...

So lets see. Well nothing too major is going on with me specifically. Pastor Jim is in Ohio or Illinois or someplace like that trying to get some answers as to what he can do about his cancer. Justin is still working lots of hours and will probably be working more hours (like mandatory 7s) when rifle season rolls around. I didn't hunt last year but I think I will try to hunt this year, prices for meat mean that I really should. Sam is still diligently seeking employment at any place possible and her unsuccessful job search is about the only thing keeping me from quitting my job right now. I'm sick from all of the weather changes--yes! I love you Michigan. Anyway hopefully this will not continue for long because I have the Central vs Western rivalry game to go to next weekend. I'm pretty excited for that. Going with Justin and Kyle but Tony and Brian are attending too just not sitting near us. Dad is back to work, I think he's doing pretty well. Mom's birthday is...

Nothing new happening. I was working on stuff for school. Reading and writing outlines for my essays--agh. I need a break from this--okay I haven't really even been diligent about it, I've been taking breaks frequently. Tom Harmon was at church from Sunday night through last night and it was great but it just so happened that this week was Mom's early week so riding with her required me to be in Mt Pleasant at 7am. Again agh. Not fun. I got an 18 out of 20 on my quiz that I took at 7am though--that was good. i had my first religion exam and I was convinced that I failed it because I did not feel confident about the outcome at all. I ended up with a B (not a b- or a b+ but a b). I was ready to get up right then and there and do heel clicks. I'm going to try to study a little earlier this time though. Hopefully writing note cards all along but I haven't written them so far because I'm busy with stuff in my other classes. Our group project objectives are...

So I'm not going to the thing for His House tonight because Sam came with me to Mt P. she's been chillin while I've been doing homework and the like. My stomach hurts really bad today but everything else is going pretty well so I'm okay with it. I think I might need to eat again so the pain goes away.

Sam's flight got cancelled for today because of the hurricane but she was able to book a different one for later this evening so she'll still be home today. Justin is coming over tonight after he gets out of work and I think we are going to church after that. His House meets on Thursday's at 7:30 in Pearce 127 and i think I might go check it out. I haven't decided yet. It's really freakin hot today, yesterday was worse but apparently Warriner has better air than the rest of these buildings on campus. So for once i'm looking forward to cooling down at work. I have quite a bit of homework to do but if I do it right now i will have nothing to do tomorrow when I head into Mt Pleasant early. Hey maybe Sam will come to Mt P with me tomorrow, we can hang out and I only have class for an hour. Curious. I'll have to ask. I'm hungry. I think I will eat something from my bag--it has lots of goodies.

Basically, I started classes this week. I've gone to all of them and I will be finishing the second time around for each class today. I'm excited for what the future holds. I need to get back into the swing of things around campus though because I haven't been doing anything all summer. I dealt with all kinds of issues with my financial aid and my student status and all of the lovely details that come with starting back to school each fall. Everything is taken care of now but I don't qualify for Work study so now I'm just a general worker--which is fine for now but might not work for next semester or the summer. I haven't talked to work about that yet because I can cross that bridge when I come to it. I just found out that another friend is getting married, I'm excited for all the friends that are getting hitched--I'm hitting that age where I have to attend weddings or at least send my love if I can't make it. I don't remember if I said any...

Basically nothing has changed since the last post. Ana contacted me which hasn't happened in a long time, I emailed her back. I went shopping with Justin for the things that he was going to need for the new job. I feel like I'm being left behind where that is concerned but I just need to start school and get things going in my life again so I don't feel like I have so much time on my hands. Justin is borrowing my laptop and I didn't think I would miss it at all but I kind of do. Well he gets it until the 24th because that is when he is doing his sermon. I haven't been able to spend any real time with him since he found out he got the job, not for lack of trying but he's been really busy. Things will get better though because he will have a good schedule again. I'm actually kind of excited to be in school again and I want to do well this semester. I will be all by myself but I have realized that half of the people that are in college are in the same boat ...

Well since the the first of August I've gone camping and been super busy at work. I only work 15 hours a week in the summer but those hours are filled with everything from scanning to copying to cooking food and basically it's been a hectic two weeks and it isn't going to slow down until well into fall semester. I'll be full-time for the fall. Justin has great news: He got a call yesterday from Brown Machine, he has a job. I was just praying that he would hear from them -- I had pretty much lost hope that he was getting a job there. I'm so excited for him. I don't know what this will bring for the future for him/us but I'm hoping for good things. I don't know what shift he's going to be working and how many days a week but it will be a more regular shift than McDonald's. He will have benefits and a 401K. These are both very exciting. Kelli is back in the States with us, she had a wonderful time in Ireland. Sam is still waiting to fly ...

Well last night I cried before I left Justin's because everything seemed to be going in a direction that I was unsure about. I think without even really acknowledging it I finally gave those things over to God. Justin told me to body slam my cares on God because I can't stand if I try to handle them myself and that is what I was trying to do. Things will work themselves out if I only give them the chance. I had dinner with my family today and it was nice while we were there. Then when we left, Dad was driving and people pissed him off so he was in his normal driving mood which is not a nice thing to witness. Generally I trust male drivers more than females but when my Dad is in a bad mood, I would much rather walk a lot of miles than ride in the same tension filled car. I went rollerblading with Stefani today and I got a sunburn but next time i want my legs to actually get some sort of tan. My shoulders and face are the parts that got burnt today. It was an odd time to be...

It's amazing how little is going on in my life right now. I went to see Chelsea and Alicia's new house yesterday. They are renting a house less than 5 min from each of their parents but to each her own. They went to Tawas to go swimming today and Sam went with them. She hasn't heard from her interviewer yet but she has a phone interview one of these days soon. Things seem to be falling into place for her. I need to go talk to academic advising again about double minoring. Wow I'm random this morning. I can't wait till I get to go see Justin in a little bit when I get ready but he's at work anyway so I don't want to get over there too early. Prayer requests: My Pastor and a friend's grandfather have both recently been diagnosed with cancer.

Basically I'm starting this because I'm sick and tired of blogging on all of the different sites that I check on an almost daily basis. I'm going to start blogging only on here because this should simplify my life a little bit. A little about me as I start this blog site: I'm a 20 year old, college student. I have a job that some would call part time but it really doesn't even qualify as part time because I work so little. But anyway I work at Central Michigan University which is also where I attend school. I love to go to the coffee shop 30 min from my house and spend time there when there isn't anyone else there. Actually I'm here at the moment and there are way too many people. Little kids--it's summertime but go do something useful (I'm one to talk--I'm here too-lol). Another part of my life, I hate all of the online jargon basically because I don't know enough of it to actually carry on a conversation with anyone so it irritates me....