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To a Sister

i was reading through some of my old writings that I just left on my computer. There is a lot of randomness in there but this one i still feel is worthwhile


To a sister; who is willing to share in my secrets.A sister who; shows me so much love that I don’t know what I would ever do without her.A sister who; shares my tears and my fears. A sister who; tells me that my fears are totally irrelevant and don’t matter in the real world. Guess what, I think I finally get what you’ve been telling me all these years, some stuff just doesn’t matter. I have the “turn around” song on my computer and I can see what it’s talking about, it always reminds me of the skit that you did with Katery and the rest of the counselors, I can hardly stand to listen to this song—I cry almost every time. You tell me how it is and you are perfectly okay in your own skin. You know who you are and I look up to you so much for that because at this point it seems like I will never be able to figure out what “I” truly want to do with my life. I know that mom and dad just want me to be happy but I also know that they do not approve of some of the things that have happened in my life recently. I appreciate having a sister that I can talk to, someone that will give me honest feedback that is also looking out for my well being not just looking for a good time. Don’t get me wrong I love to have a good time but I can make some stupid decisions. I’m so glad that we have grown up able to talk to each other. I don’t know what I would do without you, you are my best friend—above Ana any day of the week—I would never tell her that but we have a sisterly bond – we shared a bedroom. You are growing up so much faster than me and it hardly seems fair but I know that isn’t your fault – we all grow at different speeds. Even though you live all the way in Grand Rapids and I live in Coleman – I still feel like you are here – I still forget that you aren’t around to give your opinion on stuff at times. I miss you so much; I miss having my big sister right across the house – now you’re all the way across the state, and recently across the world. Nothing much has changed in our lives except for everything that possibly could. You went from Coleman to GR and I went from Coleman to Mt P back to Coleman again. I wish I could move out because of all of the things that could be different at that point but I know that some things just will never be different enough to actually matter. I will always be mom and dad’s baby so they will always treat me like a little kid—they’ve been getting better with it but they still slip up now and again. I don’t want to leave them right now because that would be too stressful for them but then again one less mouth to feed and one less person to use the hot water and such might not be too bad considering all of the things that dad has been going through with his back, the surgery and the infection.

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