Skip to main content

Decidedly Undecided

This is the theme for my life.... I always decide that I am not going to be the one to decide. But in all honesty... I'm usually the one to give in to everyone else and decide anyway.

I feel like life is going well but I'm just mildly depressed. I'm taking things WAY out of context and I'm just not feeling like I should. Sometimes I'm just so happy that I could not stand to be in the presence of someone who is not happy but that is usually before I head into class and guess what......everyone in my classes seem to be in the worst of moods when I'm feeling great.

Oh I got a D+ on my Religion exam....so I didn't exactly fail it but I might as well have. Oh man am I hoping I am able to do better on the next one. I hope that won't make me fail the class.... I do not want to have to retake it so that it doesn't show up on my transcript.

I wrote so much last night about feelings and such that I just don't know what to write on here. I felt like I was letting everyone down and when I'm letting everyone else down I feel like I am letting myself down.

OH my circle of life. I don't know how to change it....I'm a people person. I like to make sure everything is going right with everybody. I don't like conflict and I don't especially like when I am wrong because generally I am not told in a nice way that I am wrong...it's usually cruel and makes me want to cry. Which brings me to my next point.......everything in my life is making me cry these days... i'm an emotional rollercoaster and usually that leads to some sort of train wreck.

I've ticked everyone off in my life in the past week, I don't know how I accomplish these things so diligently but I feel like everyone is against me right now. I'm facing my world and it's trying to squish me---F-u world---I will win if it takes me my whole life. I won't be squished by you and your planetary friends.

I'm a little random--Sorry!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I am greatful for HOPE

Feeling hopeful!!!! It's a great feeling to be full of hope for the future. hope is a just another word for anticipation or to desire something with reasonable confidence. my hope is that I will start changing my life. I have started with grades, as I am a college student and this is my life. Going into this semester i had a low 2.0 GPA. I am currently receiving A's in 3 out of 4 classes. They are not easy classes or difficult classes, I classify them as moderately time consuming. There are group projects which I have never been great at--but I'm looking at them with a new perspective. I will do well because I believe that I will do well and I am working hard so that I do well. Also my "secret" hope is that i will get engaged soon. I love Justin and everyone, that knows me very well, knows this fact. It is simply not a secret at all. I love him with all of my heart. He has been there for me when no one else has been. I can talk to him about anything--...

Sickness--You shall die a mean and awful death

Okay I'm still sick and this is not cool. I'm skipping class this afternoon and Sam is coming to get me. Then I have to remember to go to Walmart and get some medication. Oh the joys of being sick. i need to get better. Well going to the Western game probably didn't help, or the making deliveries in the 20 below weather of this morning--okay clearly it was not 20 below--it was closer to like 40ish. Still feels cold after the 80 degree days of less than two weeks ago.