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Decidedly Undecided

This is the theme for my life.... I always decide that I am not going to be the one to decide. But in all honesty... I'm usually the one to give in to everyone else and decide anyway.

I feel like life is going well but I'm just mildly depressed. I'm taking things WAY out of context and I'm just not feeling like I should. Sometimes I'm just so happy that I could not stand to be in the presence of someone who is not happy but that is usually before I head into class and guess what......everyone in my classes seem to be in the worst of moods when I'm feeling great.

Oh I got a D+ on my Religion exam....so I didn't exactly fail it but I might as well have. Oh man am I hoping I am able to do better on the next one. I hope that won't make me fail the class.... I do not want to have to retake it so that it doesn't show up on my transcript.

I wrote so much last night about feelings and such that I just don't know what to write on here. I felt like I was letting everyone down and when I'm letting everyone else down I feel like I am letting myself down.

OH my circle of life. I don't know how to change it....I'm a people person. I like to make sure everything is going right with everybody. I don't like conflict and I don't especially like when I am wrong because generally I am not told in a nice way that I am wrong...it's usually cruel and makes me want to cry. Which brings me to my next point.......everything in my life is making me cry these days... i'm an emotional rollercoaster and usually that leads to some sort of train wreck.

I've ticked everyone off in my life in the past week, I don't know how I accomplish these things so diligently but I feel like everyone is against me right now. I'm facing my world and it's trying to squish me---F-u world---I will win if it takes me my whole life. I won't be squished by you and your planetary friends.

I'm a little random--Sorry!

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