Skip to main content

Decidedly Undecided

This is the theme for my life.... I always decide that I am not going to be the one to decide. But in all honesty... I'm usually the one to give in to everyone else and decide anyway.

I feel like life is going well but I'm just mildly depressed. I'm taking things WAY out of context and I'm just not feeling like I should. Sometimes I'm just so happy that I could not stand to be in the presence of someone who is not happy but that is usually before I head into class and guess what......everyone in my classes seem to be in the worst of moods when I'm feeling great.

Oh I got a D+ on my Religion exam....so I didn't exactly fail it but I might as well have. Oh man am I hoping I am able to do better on the next one. I hope that won't make me fail the class.... I do not want to have to retake it so that it doesn't show up on my transcript.

I wrote so much last night about feelings and such that I just don't know what to write on here. I felt like I was letting everyone down and when I'm letting everyone else down I feel like I am letting myself down.

OH my circle of life. I don't know how to change it....I'm a people person. I like to make sure everything is going right with everybody. I don't like conflict and I don't especially like when I am wrong because generally I am not told in a nice way that I am wrong...it's usually cruel and makes me want to cry. Which brings me to my next point.......everything in my life is making me cry these days... i'm an emotional rollercoaster and usually that leads to some sort of train wreck.

I've ticked everyone off in my life in the past week, I don't know how I accomplish these things so diligently but I feel like everyone is against me right now. I'm facing my world and it's trying to squish me---F-u world---I will win if it takes me my whole life. I won't be squished by you and your planetary friends.

I'm a little random--Sorry!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Summer Activities

I have not been feeling very motivated to do wedding planning. I've been a little depressed with how little response I have gotten from the different sites that I was interested in interning with. I have a lot of options in the area however some places I have no desire to work with and I think it would be silly to intern for a site like that. I have also been working hard on trying to get Grandma's house in order. I'll be having a garage sale, in august, to sell almost everything from the house because no one has come to get any of it. (This is not a cheerful task either). I've been busy with other activities for the summer with family. I haven't camped with the parents but Justin and I have been visiting while mom and dad have been camping.
Post a Comment
Read more

To a Sister

i was reading through some of my old writings that I just left on my computer. There is a lot of randomness in there but this one i still feel is worthwhile To a sister; who is willing to share in my secrets.A sister who; shows me so much love that I don’t know what I would ever do without her.A sister who; shares my tears and my fears. A sister who; tells me that my fears are totally irrelevant and don’t matter in the real world. Guess what, I think I finally get what you’ve been telling me all these years, some stuff just doesn’t matter. I have the “turn around” song on my computer and I can see what it’s talking about, it always reminds me of the skit that you did with Katery and the rest of the counselors, I can hardly stand to listen to this song—I cry almost every time. You tell me how it is and you are perfectly okay in your own skin. You know who you are and I look up to you so much for that because at this point it seems like I will never be able to figure out ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Blah Blah Blah

Sam's flight got cancelled for today because of the hurricane but she was able to book a different one for later this evening so she'll still be home today. Justin is coming over tonight after he gets out of work and I think we are going to church after that. His House meets on Thursday's at 7:30 in Pearce 127 and i think I might go check it out. I haven't decided yet. It's really freakin hot today, yesterday was worse but apparently Warriner has better air than the rest of these buildings on campus. So for once i'm looking forward to cooling down at work. I have quite a bit of homework to do but if I do it right now i will have nothing to do tomorrow when I head into Mt Pleasant early. Hey maybe Sam will come to Mt P with me tomorrow, we can hang out and I only have class for an hour. Curious. I'll have to ask. I'm hungry. I think I will eat something from my bag--it has lots of goodies.
Post a Comment
Read more