oh being hyper yet being by yourself. I am in a room, a classroom to be exact, in which I know no one by name--i recognize a few faces but that is all. I want to be hyper, I feel hyper but I have to keep it all inside because all of these people will think I'm a loon. I honestly don't really care what they think but if I'm hyper I will also be unable to sit through this class and listen to this professor. Wow this is honestly the worst class I think I have ever had...not because it is difficult--no no--just because the lecture and movies are that boring. Anthropology--didn't realize that it was this not interesting--okay that is even a lie. I don't find the study of anthropology to be that boring but I do find the lectures about anthropology from this professor to be very difficult to pay attention through. Well I have 10 minutes left before class--so I guess I will end on that note!
My pastor is not doing well. It's been a while since we found out that he had cancer but he is not gone yet and I am simply irritated by everyone who has let go of him already. I just had an epiphany that maybe I'm supposed to be letting go as well so that God can do his work or so that God can take him home. I don't really feel bad that pastor Jim is dying because he has been in so much pain lately that I just want to see his suffering ended. I'm angry at myself for not feeling bad and not crying. I didn't even cry when I lost grandpa a couple weeks ago. part of me wonders if it's because i don't feel anything. Just wondering, which is something I do a lot of lately. Needed to get this out of my system so I can focus on other things right now. More pressing things, maybe not more important.
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