Praying for Wisdom

I'm feeling like I should be doing something more with my life. I want to be a woman that people look up to for accomplishing my goals and being a Christ centered woman. I want to be beautiful on the inside and that would radiate to the outside. I want to be a loving wife and then eventually a mother (not too soon though). I want to be an encouraging person to others. I want to be able to tell people how God is working in my life and really believe every word that I am saying. I miss the times when I was so encouraged. Satan has a foothold in my life and I want to knock him out. He is able to tell me that I am not good enough or that I am failing. I go through both of these feelings on a daily basis and this isn't fair anymore. I want to be in charge of my own life and my own feelings and my own thoughts. I want to live for Christ because he has been such a huge part of my life. I want to be able to make a difference in the lives of the youth around our church and a...

I literally went through the first 90 pages of facebook flair. I know you wish you were as cool as me... oh and I have to stay in Mt P late tonight....fail. I'm so ready for tomorrow afternoon!

Feeling hopeful!!!! It's a great feeling to be full of hope for the future. hope is a just another word for anticipation or to desire something with reasonable confidence. my hope is that I will start changing my life. I have started with grades, as I am a college student and this is my life. Going into this semester i had a low 2.0 GPA. I am currently receiving A's in 3 out of 4 classes. They are not easy classes or difficult classes, I classify them as moderately time consuming. There are group projects which I have never been great at--but I'm looking at them with a new perspective. I will do well because I believe that I will do well and I am working hard so that I do well. Also my "secret" hope is that i will get engaged soon. I love Justin and everyone, that knows me very well, knows this fact. It is simply not a secret at all. I love him with all of my heart. He has been there for me when no one else has been. I can talk to him about anything--...

You may not believe me but yes.... it is snowing outside. This is Michigan though--no one would expect anything less. Man I hate snow--alas I will never escape it's grasp because I will not move south. I will move west but not south (not for any length of time that is). I was so hyper this morning. I had coffee it always does it to me. but now I'm a little tired. I however do not have class so maybe I'll take a nap. Then read my Psych chapter and go to psych of course. Oh the dilemma this poses

I'm almost starting my classes this semester. I have 35 minutes of freedom left. I'm so nervous. I don't know why i am always so nervous but it's the first day of classes and I really just want to run away. I think part of the reason I am so nervous is because I keep getting a doomsday report from every direction. Everyone thinks that everything is going down the tubes and we shouldn't have a good outlook on life but.... what if some of us would like to keep the little bit of hope that we have left. hope of a better life, hope that our dreams will come true, hope that I will have time to be able to get married and raise the family that I want so badly to have. I want to keep my hope--so all of you who no longer have hope--stop raining on my parade. i have hope that the future holds something better for all of us--so keep dreaming people and remember to forget the economy for a few minutes everyday and just simply remember your dreams! Thanks for letting me ...

Back at my coffee shop just in time to start school again next week. I'm so not ready. I have to work on Thursday and i haven't been there in so long. I really do not want to go there. i feel like I should have a different job, i want a job that I actually enjoy--is that too much to ask. My friend Crystal Bower passed away Sunday night and i got the news Monday afternoon. I'm praying that her 5 year-old son Gaige is doing okay. Crystal did not have the best family life but I think Gaige's dad will take him in and love him like the rest of his family. i hope that my faith in him is not wasted. Sam and i searched for a bread store in Midland because we want really good heavy bread again like the stuff that she got from the Wealthy Street Bakery in Grand Rapids. Speaking of Sam, she wants to go visiting friends and dropping off gifts--I think that might call for a roadtrip.

It's the new year already! I cannot believe how every year goes by so fast and so slow at the exact same time. I am sitting next to the man of my dreams. He's everything that I never thought i was allowed to have and everything that I finally admitted that I want. I love him more than words could ever express. I used to be intimidated by his family but now they are simply part of my family. We share things that I never thought I would with "his" family when the time came but like I said now they are "mine" too. I am going to plan a couple's dinner with his mom around Valentine's Day! He hates the holiday--he says it's from Hallmark but I think this will make it special for me anyway. Side note--he always participates for my sake anyway. i told you he was amazing--you didn't believe me-well now you should. Hope your new years resolutions are starting off on the right foot. My new years resolution is to exercise at least once a week (baby ...