Praying for Wisdom

I just signed up for my classes at the coffee shop and found out that i do not have over a year left. I have one semester of classes left--this scares me out of my mind. I have to get an internship in order to graduate, I'm excited and scared.

Pastor Jim didn't make it through the weekend. His funeral is on Saturday. I have so much stuff to do so I am thankful that it is not until Saturday. That sounds selfish but it is the truth.

My pastor is not doing well. It's been a while since we found out that he had cancer but he is not gone yet and I am simply irritated by everyone who has let go of him already. I just had an epiphany that maybe I'm supposed to be letting go as well so that God can do his work or so that God can take him home. I don't really feel bad that pastor Jim is dying because he has been in so much pain lately that I just want to see his suffering ended. I'm angry at myself for not feeling bad and not crying. I didn't even cry when I lost grandpa a couple weeks ago. part of me wonders if it's because i don't feel anything. Just wondering, which is something I do a lot of lately. Needed to get this out of my system so I can focus on other things right now. More pressing things, maybe not more important.

Well today I'm doing a disability experience so I get to be in a wheelchair for 6 hours. I'm not extremely excited but it is a good experience. My group work is going fairly well. I have more groups to get into soon. That won't be as much fun. Working on our event for the one project. October 25th, Papa's Pumpkin Patch, Chili Tasting. I'm loving my job that I started at the end of summer. Working with Kari and Ernie is so much better than working with the other people. I'm so tired apparently staying awake and watching Love Happens in the theater was not a good idea. I was falling asleep driving home last night and falling asleep coming in this morning so apparently I will need to a. take a nap or b. go to bed early. I pick c. first take a nap and then go to sleep early. I hear people talk about engagements and rings and getting married. Part of me wants to be married right now!! That's a big part of me. The rest, that little itsy bitsy piece in t...

Well I didn't update with the news that I got an interview and then I didn't update with the news that I got the job and then I didn't update that training made me nervous but it went well. I also didn't update that I would be gone for a week of church camp with no sleep and then a week of family camping. I also didn't update that Pastor Jim was dying last week. The miracle of the matter is that he was taken off life support and he is just too stubborn to die, he stayed with us. I hope that I am able to talk with him now. I saw grandma and grandpa today for a quick second at their house in Coleman but the house looks really bad and the grandparents don't look to healthy either. I've been working for almost a week and I love it. I start school next week, I'm excited and nervous. I really would like to finish up my degree as soon as humanly possible so that I don't have to continue with school anymore, I don't really enjoy going to class wit...

I found out earlier this week that I don't have a job for the summer so I am like every other unemployed person out there--filling out applications like a mad woman. If I didn't have to drive so far to see Justin, I might not even worry about having a job but he is unemployed too and trying not to spend too much money. So that means that our outings have to be pretty cheap. There are things that we could do for cheap, like go to the park, have a picnic, or go for a walk. i just don't know how to ask. i really am not motivated to do most of these things so I need someone who will help motivate me. Plus I need to lose some weight because I have gained back all the weight that I lost after high school and probably more. But this is the thing that I have found: Trying to be healthy and go on a diet is expensive because the foods that are good for you are not something that you can just pick up for $1 at McDonald's. Fast food is so convenient that I don't even ha...

My group for my Recreation class is driving me crazy. We have 4 days left until we have to run our program and they don't seem to understand that. We are going shopping for materials tomorrow and then we are leaving the rest of the stuff until Monday and then we are going to try to type everything up. I feel like it would make more sense to get all the typing out of the way and then go shopping after we make sure our games will fulfill the requirements. This irritates me a lot because I just don't understand why they are not doing the things we need. Just needed to vent.