I am finding the calm in the chaos of my life. So many things have changed that I could not possibly list them all but I will start with the biggest change of my life. I am now a widow, solo parent. It's crazy to think that in the last post I wrote I was concerned with having more kids and Justin working too much. I can't even deal with my reasoning of those times. Now I know that God had a plan in place not allowing me to get pregnant again and have another child to deal with without Justin by my side. I have a difficult time with Luke as it is how would I even cope with another child. Through Justin's death I felt much closer to God but then I became bitter and felt like I walked away. Now I am simply trying to find out what I believe again. My faith has certainly been challenged. I feel like I still have faith but I have to figure out where I am placing my faith. I want to be putting it in the right places. I...
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