Praying for Wisdom

Well I didn't update with the news that I got an interview and then I didn't update with the news that I got the job and then I didn't update that training made me nervous but it went well. I also didn't update that I would be gone for a week of church camp with no sleep and then a week of family camping. I also didn't update that Pastor Jim was dying last week. The miracle of the matter is that he was taken off life support and he is just too stubborn to die, he stayed with us. I hope that I am able to talk with him now. I saw grandma and grandpa today for a quick second at their house in Coleman but the house looks really bad and the grandparents don't look to healthy either. I've been working for almost a week and I love it. I start school next week, I'm excited and nervous. I really would like to finish up my degree as soon as humanly possible so that I don't have to continue with school anymore, I don't really enjoy going to class wit...

I found out earlier this week that I don't have a job for the summer so I am like every other unemployed person out there--filling out applications like a mad woman. If I didn't have to drive so far to see Justin, I might not even worry about having a job but he is unemployed too and trying not to spend too much money. So that means that our outings have to be pretty cheap. There are things that we could do for cheap, like go to the park, have a picnic, or go for a walk. i just don't know how to ask. i really am not motivated to do most of these things so I need someone who will help motivate me. Plus I need to lose some weight because I have gained back all the weight that I lost after high school and probably more. But this is the thing that I have found: Trying to be healthy and go on a diet is expensive because the foods that are good for you are not something that you can just pick up for $1 at McDonald's. Fast food is so convenient that I don't even ha...

My group for my Recreation class is driving me crazy. We have 4 days left until we have to run our program and they don't seem to understand that. We are going shopping for materials tomorrow and then we are leaving the rest of the stuff until Monday and then we are going to try to type everything up. I feel like it would make more sense to get all the typing out of the way and then go shopping after we make sure our games will fulfill the requirements. This irritates me a lot because I just don't understand why they are not doing the things we need. Just needed to vent.

I'm so super busy these days that I completely forgot to update anything. I just logged in to each account that I keep and had messages from several different people on each. It's good to feel loved sometimes. Well an update on me: i finished spring semester with a 3.6 GPA and that was awesome--it still only raises my complete GPA to like a 2.7 but if I keep up the good work I might be able to graduate with a decent GPA. I was really excited about that. Before that I celebrated my 21st--no big deal but it was fun. Now I am on to summer classes and I'm 1/3 of the way through already because they are only 3 weeks long. I'm excited for them to be over but I'm not excited to go back to work. I'll be going to Big Ticket again this year with Justin and maybe others but they haven't told us yet. i will be a counselor at camp like I am every year but I'm totally getting too old for it and I'm pretty much ready for a new kind of challenge. I love be...

I'm in a good mood today but I just wish the day would go by faster because I want to go see Justin. i'm chillin' at Qdoba by myself right now and it's pretty boring. i wish I could have had a lunch date with Justin. I really am contemplating skipping my psychology class. Oh how bored i am right now. Hopefully things will pick up soon!

Invisible Mom It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more ! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summ...

I starting to comprehend the need for prayer. i mean I have always hypothetically understood that prayer was a requirement but now I am starting to see the need for it in my daily life. I really need prayer when I am being annoyed by the fact that i cannot block people out very well and I have a hard time saying "no" to certain people and I cannot make some people leave my life no matter how dire the need for them to stop influencing me is. I need a prayer group and I'm not sure how to start. Once again I'm being annoyed with my inability to tune people out and my computer is not cooperating very well.