Praying for Wisdom

I am finding the calm in the chaos of my life.  So many things have changed that I could not possibly list them all but I will start with the biggest change of my life. I am now a widow, solo parent.  It's crazy to think that in the last post I wrote I was concerned with having more kids and Justin working too much.  I can't even deal with my reasoning of those times.  Now I know that God had a plan in place not allowing me to get pregnant again and have another child to deal with without Justin by my side.  I have a difficult time with Luke as it is how would I even cope with another child.   Through Justin's death I felt much closer to God but then I became bitter and felt like I walked away.  Now I am simply trying to find out what I believe again.  My faith has certainly been challenged.  I feel like I still have faith but I have to figure out where I am placing my faith.  I want to be putting it in the right places.   I have been seeing a counselor and I feel l